On average, full-time working Americans put in 47 hours / week. That equates to 2,350 hours (nearly 100 days) per year! This is just slightly less than the time we spend sleeping (56 hours per week based on 8 hours of sleep per night). This means that of the 112 waking hours we have per week, we spend nearly half of them at work. Now, unless you work at home or have a job where you work alone, you spend a significant part of your life with coworkers. I am sure you have heard the endearing terms of work spouse or work family. Turns out, there is some validity these sorts of terms.
The reality is that we spend a significant portion of our days with our coworkers. For some, the hours probably exceed the amount of time we spend with our families. This makes these relationships and how we handle them extremely important to our lives and legacy. We would all agree that we prefer a peaceful and fun workplace over one full of tension and turmoil. It is true that a spirit of camaraderie and teamwork leads to a more productive workplace and better job satisfaction. The building blocks of such a work environment are the individual relationships we have with our coworkers.
Are our workplace interactions with coworkers contributing to a positive or negative work environment?
Let’s identify a person in our workplace that we dread working with. Let’s call him John. (Sorry, to all the John’s reading this. I am sure you are a poster child for the perfect co-worker.) Does John’s negativity bring down the spirit of the workplace? Perhaps it even rubs off on others resulting in most of the staff also developing a negative attitude. The difficult interactions with John erode the spirit of camaraderie and team work.
How do we go about dealing with John? Unless we are the owner/manager of the workplace, we probably don’t have the power to simply fire John. Even if we do hold that position, firing him may not be the best decision, particularly if John has the skill set and potential to greatly benefit the company. Us leaving our job to get away from John may not be the best approach either. It is guaranteed that John, or his twin brother Jim, will be waiting for us at our next job!
Let’s ask ourselves these three questions in our approach to the John’s that exist in all our workplaces.
- Why are they the way they are?
It has been my experience that most people are not inherently mean, negative, or difficult. Some are, but not most. Frequently, there are underlying reasons people have become this way. Perhaps it is a broken marriage or relationship, loss of a loved one, health problems, or financial stress that have caused negativity to develop in them. Perhaps we would behave exactly as they do were we going through their same circumstances. Before writing them off as an evil person, let’s at least entertain the thought there may be an underlying reason that we are not aware of. Consider getting to know them well enough to find out and maybe even help!
- How can we respond to them in a beneficial way?
The way we respond to difficult coworkers is important. Arguing with them will not help. Talking behind their back will not help. This one is particularly difficult to avoid and all too common in the workplace. (Certainly pointing fingers at myself for being guilty of this one!)
The biblical principal of “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Matthew 7:12) is so applicable here. If the person is never willing to help or be a team player, then let’s be the best team player we can be around them. If they are constantly negative, let’s be genuinely positive around them. Let’s be intentional about complimenting them when they do something well. Make a point of talking up the positives of the workplace and why it is such a great place to work. In other words, let’s try to impose our will on them. If we desire teamwork, then we need to show teamwork. If we desire a positive work environment, then we need to BE positive.
- What if they don’t change?
Let’s be real. Some people are simply difficult to get along with, whether it be a justifiable reason or not. They are, and choose to remain, the Debbie Downers or the lazy people or the go-it-alone people. Not everyone can be changed despite our sincere efforts.
However, even if they can’t be changed, they also can’t be allowed to negatively affect the workplace. If the above efforts fail, then the person should be taken aside and informed of the negative opinion their co-workers have of them. This should be done with professionalism and courtesy and not in a finger pointing antagonistic manner. It is the hope that this “intervention” would produce change.
However, this is still not in our control. What is in our control and the control of our coworkers is our own attitudes and behaviors. Let’s take control of our workplace. Let’s drown out the negativity of one with the positivity of the masses. We need to continue to breed a culture of teamwork because the teamwork of the majority can compensate for the laziness of the one.
Most of us are required to work. Most of us have coworkers. And most of us will, at times in our careers, have coworkers like John. How we respond to them matters. It matters to them, to the organization, and ultimately to our personal legacies. So, let’s make every effort to respond well.
Because legacies matter.
