Dear Jenn,

I could start from the beginning, but it seems like we’ve been together forever.

I could start with the best thing about you, but it is impossible to narrow down to just one. 

And so, I will start with us. By us, I mean the relationship. The interactions. The bond that is marriage.

The essence of life is made up of the relationships we form. Parents. Siblings. Friends. Coworkers. Barista. Hair stylist. Pastor. But of all of these, it is marriage I believe to be the quintessential relationship.  

Marriage by design is intimate. And the closeness of that intimacy leads to an inescapable reality: one cannot hide in a marriage, at least not for long. Eventually, all of the layers are stripped away and what is left is raw, unfiltered, non-enhanced realness, revealing all of the blemishes, scars, cracks, wrinkles, faults, and stains. 

The question then becomes whether this picture of reality is perceived as beautiful or grotesque. The answer is what determines whether the bond is strong or weak. 

Jenn, your ability to see beauty in me is what makes our bond strong. Your grace-filled eyes are the key to our relationship and bring love to our interactions.  

You know me better than anyone. See me more clearly than I see myself. I sometimes wonder how you cannot see the grotesque image I often see in the mirror.  

Is it there, but you choose to view it differently? Is it there, but you choose to look past it?

If so, why? I believe that answer defines us, our relationship, our bond. I believe that answer can be summed up in one word: grace.

You have seen me at my very worst. Angry. Mean. Hurtful. Broken. Ugly.

There have been times in our relationship when I have hurt you. Wronged you. Discounted you.  

You know and have experienced all of my weaknesses, failures, and shortcomings.  

Yet, despite all of the hurt, wrongdoing, weaknesses, and failures, you see beauty instead of grotesqueness. You show grace, and in it, unwavering love. 

You, outside of my mom and dad, have taught me more about Jesus than anyone I’ve ever known.  

You have shown me more of God’s grace than any other human.

You have shown me more love, more devotion, and more loyalty than I could ever deserve.  

Every single word of this is to simply say I love you. And I want you to know I recognize that the unbreakable bond we share exists largely because of how you choose to see me. Not because I am perfect, but because you choose to stare into the face of my grotesque imperfections and see beauty. Because you choose to love anyway and always.

I promise to continually work to do all I can to strengthen our bond through that same grace and love that chooses to see beauty even in the mire.

Reader, you have just read the secret to a strong relationship. One with unbreakable bonds and untarnished beauty.  

Choose to see the beautiful despite the grotesque. Choose to love regardless of merit.  

Bring grace to your interactions and your relationships. And love anyways and always.